OK, I have to make this snappy because I have a busy day ahead of me of moving aka “directing off-duty firefighters where to put my things”. (I love Craigslist.)
I’ll be sure to be online today though since yesterday I made the tragic mistake of turning my back on the internet and apparently sent a bunch of DM’s on Twitter saying I was 24 and horny. Which, sadly, isn’t true in either case. That’s the real tragedy, when your spam is more exciting than you are.
In addition to sexually harassing my Twitter followers, I also managed to pack up my entire house and finish the laundry because by God this better be the first move where we don’t bring over five garbage bags full of dirty clothes. That’s not cute after college. Or 30.
I have some terribly exciting news.
Guess where I’ll be on Sunday, March 7.
That’s right. The Red Carpet.
Clearly, Robert Pattinson pulled some strings. I hope he doesn’t get the wrong impression when I show up with “bite me here” written in Sharpie on my neck. I just want to be friends.
I’ll write more about this crazy awesome invite next week and how it all happened. Especially because I need your advice about what to wear. I don’t want to upstage Angelina. Again. I can’t take the tears.