My Day In Numbers

Percentage of myself that feels 20 minutes on the elliptical this morning does not make up for the asiago bagel and cheddar bacon cream cheese: 0

Number of hours I've been at Starbucks waiting to be inspired to write while digesting: 3

Number of those hours spent Googling ex-boyfriends and watching singing dog videos: 2.5

Number of times I've texted Chris gift suggestions for our anniversary later this month: 8

Number of times I've asked him what he wants for a gift: 0

Number of dirty text messages that I feel are a gift in themselves: 5

Ways this makes me a good wife: lots

Number of times I've checked for Hawaii deals on 3

Number of times said deals considered Macaroni Grill coupons as good as cash: (tragically) 0

Number of times I've wondered why I wasn't born a princess: 11

Number of times I've lost all feeling in my ass: 3

Number of times I've been caught by a stranger absentmindedly rubbing my newfound chin hairs: 2

Number of times this wasn't weird: 0

Number of girls ordering coffee I've lost to while playing the game "Is she younger than me?": 5

Number of times I willed them to trip and spill their frappuccinos: 5

Number of times I've played the "What's your Cowgirl name?" generator before settling on Lena "Horseshoed" Lotsey: 4

Number of strangers here I gleefully tried to share this with: 3

Number of those people who were actually trying to get real work done, like selling me insurance: 3

Number of times I've wondered what length of time is acceptable between a bagel and a croissant: 2


Jennifer said...

Number of comments which I cannot read and possibly make fun of in some way:1 (bummer)

Totally with you on the princess thing by the way

Ree said...

I've played that same game many times. Plus the one that says, "How many pounds less than me does she weight?"

Note: Average? 50.

Jeannie said...

Number of times (per day) I play, "who looks older, her or me?"...WITH MY KIDS? - - minimum: 3.

(hint: they KNOW what they are supposed to say no matter how hard you try to trick them into being honest).

whoorl said...

You should have that croissant. And maybe one of those maple nut scones...damn, those are good.

Rubberbacon said...

Really funny post, I've been looking at mom's and gleefully noting who looks much older but is probably the same age.

GraceFalls said...

I often play the how long did she spend getting ready game...the how much did she spend on that outfit/haircut game...and the how many more calories did i consume in this snack than she ate all week game!!

Number of times in an average day I remind myself that I am proud to be a curvy, 6 ft chick with crazy short hair and a penchant for extravagant vernacular..... about 20
(mostly because i live in a world where everything tells me I am braking all the rules)

Y said...

number of times I checked my phone to see if you called me back today: 8-ish.

Deb said...

Ditto what Anonymous said, Lena Horseshoed.

Karen A. said...

Listen closely. I need you to write every day Lena!

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