Your Father and I Talked About It and You Can Read This Post

Oh my God. Did I say I wasn't going to talk about money? Because I'm totally about to talk about money.

Chris would kill me if I advertised what I have in my bank account, so I won't. But let's just say it rhymes with smeventeen dollars.

I know. I'm too old to have smeveteen dollars in my checking account!

But, we're trying so hard to pay off these credit cards. A little too hard it turns out because 'hi overdraft! I see you! ' (He loves a good game of peek-a-boo. When you least expect him, there he is, that little rascal!)

And yesterday? I paid $156 so Savannah could sign up for the vaguely named "Keyboarding " class. One hundred and fifty-six dollars for 6 one hour lessons with a frillion other kids learning how to play the keyboard. Which seemed like a good idea until Yvonne pointed out that couldn't I buy a keyboard at Target for like fifty bucks? And what is keyboarding anyway? I'm pretty sure all the little rich girls around here have private piano lessons, not keyboarding at the Y. (To which Yvonne responded, as only she could, "Eff pianos! Keyboards never go out of tune, so up theirs!".)

What's even more hilarious is when I told Savannah the GOOD NEWS in the car, I took it very serious (I turned off the radio and everything) and I actually said these words "Your father and I talked about it and you can take keyboarding".


It wasn't until I was relaying this to Yvonne that I realized how ridiculous it is to confer with your husband about freaking keyboarding. But, these are the times, my friends. Me and the U.S. Treasury. We're not so good with the budgets.

So, Yvonne and I both got a little hysterical until Yvonne joked (but I think she was mostly serious because...smeventeen dollars!) that maybe I should look into giving keyboarding lessons. You know, once I figure out what it is.

So, if you see a link go up on my blog that says "Ask Me About Keyboarding!" "I'm a Keyboard Specialist! You Can Too!", you should just click on it. But fortheloveofgod be sure to talk to your husband first.

In other non-news, I have absolutely nothing of interest to report about last night's Back To School Night. Girl C was not there (gosh, I hope it wasn't amoebic dysentery!), but her friend Girl D was and she was more than happy to do Girl C's bidding for her with a complete snub. And even a husband to husband snub. (Bonus points!) Because everyone knows that a good husband should snub his wife's friend's ex-friend's husband.


Exactly. Ridiculous.

I know I shouldn't care about people who hate me (especially because according to Lena's mom "they're just jealous" because, you know, I'm "so pretty". This might hold more weight if she hadn't started using this in the 7th grade. Those bangs tell a different story, mmm?)

And it's not even like I'm interested in them liking me. I'm just curious about what "hating me" looks like. What does it wear? Where does it go to lunch? Does it fall if I trip it? You know, the usual questions. And then I'll see the Mean Moms enjoying each other's company, appearing completely innocent and I'll think hmm, so that's what hating me looks like. Flip flops and an Old Navy tee. Good. To. Know.

I assume I pay attention because I'm hoping to catch them eating babies under a bridge so I can go "Well! No wonder you hate me! You're obviously a lunatic!" instead of the seemingly harmless plaid shorts, pony tail, and easy laughter which have me all confused. Plaid shorts normally LOVE me!

I don't get it.

Anyway, the highlight of last night was that I overdressed, sweat like a pig in the humid classroom, and then broke my shoe on the slide (don't ask). All in all I consider it a success. Plus my daughter made the cutest paper owl to end all paper owls. Oh, and I learned that everyone loves her and she has lots of friends.

I just hope those keyboarding lessons don't go straight to her head.


Andrea said...

I have about the same amount in my chequing account, so I can wholly sympathise. For what it's worth, it seems really awesome that you DID talk to Chris about it before signing up for the keyboard lessons. Not so much because keyboarding is the stuff on which her future hinges, but because it's something wonderfully stable for her-- to hear that Mum and Dad confer on things, back each other up, support one another . . . all of that can be conveyed by saying "Daddy and I talked about it." I would have loved a bit of that stability growing up, and in the very nicest way, I envy Savannah that she has parents who can give it to her. So that is a doubly awesome gift, lessons and chat combined :)

Lollyblogger said...

Welcome back! I used to read your blog when I lived in Houston, and am now living close by. Am free to to get together and wreak havoc on Girls B and C if needed. (did receive masters degree in the fine art of toilet papering.) Good luck with your move!

margalit said...

I have about that much in my checking account, too. Only mine has a big red MINUS in front of it. Mr Overdraft is my best buddy these days.

I'm SO glad you're back. You are so awesome. said...

The play-date/room-mom social network totally baffles me. I can't navigate it. I think I'm too pretty. (snerk)

The Laundress said...

I have about the same amount in my checking account. Wait. It may be less..I just paid life insurance.

Ok. I have schmix dollars as of this moment. Oh lord.

I read a book. "Odd Mom Out" by Jane Porter. Your haters remind me of the ones in the book. I am the odd mom out at all special events. So don't feel bad. I kinda like it that way. No one asks me to carpool or sit their little brats. It all works out in the end.

The Over-Thinker said...

Plaid shorts can be really judgey so it's hard to plan on their love. Yet the love of a paper owl is forever. Bet on that.

I'm usually around the smeventeen dollar amount, about 3 days prior to payday. In those 3 days, I coast everywhere on fumes, steal toilet paper from work and eat Ramen. Oh, and then I die of total and utter pride. Here's hoping smeventeen turns into Fivedundrid soon.

DianaCLT said...

Keyboarding lessons? At the Y? Our Y doesn't offer that. Thank God, our Y doesn't offer anything that costs over $25/month (swimming lessons). As for "keyboarding," I was all into that in my early the late '80s! I didn't know that was a term that was still used... But then, I live in the evil Valley, so I have no idea what is considered cool by Girls B, C, and D in your neck of the woods. ;)

We're not at smeventeen dollars yet, but still have a week to go 'til hubby's paycheck. In that time, I have to pay our $582 DWP bill (and I am still baffled how our pool-less home has such a high freakin' bill), and I kinda forgot that our cell and gas bills will be automatically deducted this week. FUN! (NOT!) Thankfully, I regularly borrow from the Bank of Opposable-Thumbed-Biped (that's the code name I use when talking in our son's he doesn't know I'm talking about HIS account...which always has more, and I SWEAR, I ALWAYS pay back!).

Sighssssss.... Isn't it just horrible when Husband D gets sucked into his bitchy wife's soap operatic bullshit???

Kristin said...

I'll be the first in line for keyboarding lessons Lena!

By the way, sooooo glad you're back. :)

Butrfly Garden said...

My credit card's new balance rhymes with courteen shmousand. I didn't think that was a huge deal (I did just pay for a wedding. And a car. And an elliptical. And a new computer. And 14k worth of other crap.) But then my house payment went up (no ARM - just higher taxes) and now my car is crapping out.

This morning I broke down wondering how the hell we're going to get out of this. Three months ago, it seemed so feasible. Now the budget gets stretched and I wonder if we're going to make it.

I don't like to talk money, but sometimes it's such a huge issue that you can't NOT talk about it.

I'm trying to limit my buying of crap - including things the kids just DO not need but I always buy anyway. It's hard, though, to conciously change your spending like that.

Good for you, Lena, for doing what it takes to keep your heads above the water. I always wondered what happened with you when you weren't posting. (Okay, not always, but I thought of you at least a few times.)

Kristin said...

I keep trying to go with the ever popular head in the sand, call me when the recession is over, but alas, this fun economy requires much receipt producing and tallying of endless bottom lines.

Also, your mom and mine went to the same school of parenting... "just jealous"... it's good I knew she was full. of. it. from an early age of my head wouldn't fit through a door.

mpotter said...

glad you're back! it was a pleasant surprise when i randomly checked.
i have since had a baby girl while you've been gone. and i have yet to be a part of any "playdate" or group --- but i feel i will be hanging on your every word. i'm sure i'll be the one that can relate to you.
i look forward to more stories...

Candy said...

Hey, as of yesterday I was $183.00 overdrawn, so I feel your pain. Today I'm not overdrawn, because the check that caused the overdraft was credited back into my account this morning. But guess what happens 2 days from now...YEAH...I'll be overdrawn AGAIN, when they redeposit the check. Nifty. Wall Street's got nothing on me.

I found your blog from Google Reader, of all things. I think that may be an indication of how bored I am at the moment...randomly clicking on Google's recommendations list. Go you!

Heather said...

Oh, Lena, am I glad you're back! Forget the haters, I LOVE you.

I am glad you left those bangs in 7th grade, though.

Suburban Turmoil said...

Um hi.

Yvonne is MY friend now. So step the back up.


I'm sooooo glad you're back.

Anonymous said...

I think keyboarding lessons are actually typing lessons, no?

sheila said...

I feel your pain. I'm looking at a $180 archery set that my 'Middle Child' had to have 4 yrs ago for lessons that she took for 5 weeks...and decided 'it wasn't for her'.

I could use that $180 to pay down on my credit too. Or maybe buy a weeks worth of groceries. lol

Love your blog. Gonna add you to my blogroll, hope that's okay!

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