The view from our new house.
Every morning I pull back the curtains and open the windows and breathe in the ocean air. I go downstairs and pour a cup of coffee and wander into the backyard with the cats where we rub our backs across the patio. I take a deep breath and reflect upon how much I love this house and this town and this view. Then I go back inside and call our realtor, where I spend the next two hours making her tell me this will all end well.
It will be nice when my morning is missing one of these rituals.
Remember when I was sad and panicky about Savannah starting Kindergarten? It is amazing how spending 16 hours a day on the phone, unpacking, and working while trying to keep a five year old entertained will suddenly make you very comfortable with the whole "being away from you" idea.
While I know I'll still cry the day she actually lets go of my hand and crosses over that threshold where kids can be mean and words can seem scary, I'm confident that Savannah and I are both more than ready for this change. She is so ready to play with other kids and do homework and feel productive. And I am so ready to let go of the guilt.
The guilt. The guilt that during our last month together before she starts school, I have spent half of it on the phone and the other half thinking about how I should be on the phone.
The effects of the housing market crash have been so far-reaching that I cannot even begin to tell you the ways in which it has affected us. Our friendships, our marriage, our family, our parenting, have all paid the price.
I am ready for this to be over.
I am ready for this escrow to close, so that we can all put it behind us and start down our new paths. I am ready to have my life back.
August 27 is our closing date. The day after our seven year anniversary. I don't think I need to tell you what I asked for.