Zeta Mom

My God, I hate making dinner. It's as if my soul seeps out of my ears right around 4:00. Everything is going along fine and then I notice the time and I immediately make a small deflated noise and slump forward and maybe even swing my arms around a little to show how wretchedly forlorn I am.

Then I open the freezer door for awhile and afterward lean in the pantry doorway. If nothing immediately jumps out at me (Hi! I'm pasta and all I need is sauce!) then I inevitably end up at the junk drawer poking around at pizza coupons.

Also? There's pretty much a direct correlation between whether I remembered to defrost chicken and the number of complaints I have about my marriage.

"I don't KNOW what's for dinner, Chris. And furthermore, you promised to take me to Europe when we were dating."

And yet...


Why do I have all these damn cookbooks?

I'm the kind of person that requires a lot of direction. And, no, silly, step-by-step recipe instructions are not enough. I think I would prefer it if each cookbook said "Open Me" on their covers and "Buy Me" next to each ingredient. Then perhaps I would go grocery shopping and come back with something more than ice cream and mini waffles.

(click to enbiggen)

It wasn't until Chris was eating salami and cheese over the sink and Savannah was heating up her own frozen dinner that I realized how awesome I am at this.


Anonymous said...

The reasons here why I don't cook, or food shop. I leave that to him.

I know. You hate me.

Jennifer said...

I'm screwed where I live...the only place that delivered pizza all the way out here went out of business. The one chinese take-out place routinely gets low scores on their health inspections. And the worst part, my stupid husband is on a low-carb diet, so I have to cook MEAT for every dinner.

chris said...

But you shopped at a natural food store, that gives you extra bonus points!

I hate to cook and I have a slew of cookbooks also. I keep thinking that I just haven't found the right one yet. You know, the one that comes with a chef to cook the recipes.

heather said...

I am glad I'm not the only one who has a little fit every night when I realize there are 5 people waiting for me to feed them something. I hate cooking!

Butrfly4404 said...

Haha! I NEVER cook.

My secret?

Rice-A-Roni and Spam. You cut up the Spam in little chunks, and cook it with the rice (you brown the rice first). Viola! He never asked me to cook again! (BTW, that was a dinner my mom made up when we were poor - yes I eat it and it's the only way I will EVER eat SPAM).

Also, Heart Healthy Bisquick Chicken Pot Pie...he hates that, too.

However, I've made two dinners recently that were actually GOOD. Now I've got a little high from it and have been trying to find something else good to cook. Twice I've been at the grocery store buying odd ingredients because it was part of a recipe I saw. I have a strange assortment now and none of it goes together. I'm trying though. I am.
(I hate to say this because I never do it either, but making a weekly menu REALLY helps.)

Michelle Smiles said...

Love to cook when I am in the mood. Unfortunately the mood never strikes me when we need to have dinner on the table. And cookbooks? I have a ton...I go through them and mark interesting recipes and then never try them.

Beth_C said...

I enjoy cooking but only when I have my menus planned out. I usually do it a week at a time right before I go to the grocery store. It makes dinner less of a chore. That being said, I LOVE Dream Dinners! Do you have one (or a Super Suppers) near you? If so, I highly recommend it.

If you aren't familiar with the concept you check out their menus online, sign up for the meals you want to make and pick a date and time. You go over (with coolers and laundry baskets in tow) and prepare up to 12 meals. I always split the meals in half and sometimes thirds so I leave with a months worth of dinners. Most of the meals feed 6 people. Then you put everything in your freezer and your meals are ready to go. The dinners come with instrustions that you stick to the freezer pan or freezer bag (which is included). It is so easy and so yummy! The best part is that my husband loves all the new dinners he gets. It's not the same tired old 10 dinners I normally rotate through.

Oh, The Joys said...

This is where my ANAL personality kicks into overdrive. [warning! you are about to gag from my next words.]

I actually create a MENU every week, make a grocery list from the ingredients, POST the said MENU and then at 4:00 I look at the sheet and go, "Okey dokey, then." and set about making whatever the d*mned sheet says to make.

It that sick? Probably.

Marcia said...

WOW. Seriously. Savannah? What is she, 5? And she can already heat up her own frozen dinner? Frankly, she's ready for college!

Stephanie said...

I do love the YOU Cookbook though. Have you tried the chicken recipes? There are not many, but they're quick and easy. And hey, if they're goo enough for Oprah...

Stephanie said...

I meant "good"

A said...

Bwaaa haaa. I do the same thing. Sure, I have great intentions of actually planning meals, and cooking ahead, etc. But it just never works. Except about once or twice a week when I drag out the crockpot, throw something in it, and let it simmer all day. Then I look like Betty Crocker, only with no effort.

Kim said...

I guess I'm anal like 'Oh, The Joys' because I make a weekly menu makes things so much easier. Before I started doing this I, too, stared into my cupboard wondering what the heck to do for dinner., as long as I make the menu, my hubby usually cooks. I you hate me...but that's ok, 'cause I'm a lucky girl ;)

wordgirl said...

I only feel like cooking if it's something that you can throw together and then cook for a long time without looking at it so you can do something else entirely.

Sharon said...

I make a menu and grocery shop two weeks at a time. I realized I hated deciding and cooking all in the same night. The menu is on the fridge so I don't forget what I planned and everyone can check it instead of asking me!

I've saved a ton of money since I started this...less trips to the store for one thing and leaving with a cart full.

Melissa said...

Cookbooks, yes - I have LOTS of those. Know what my dinners usually consist of? The aforementioned pasta or sandwiches. And not even really clever sandwiches - mostly turkey or PB&J.

Husband and offspring never complain.

Am totally a whiz in the kitchen.

Mrs. Chicky said...

My dear, I am the same way. I am addicted to cookbooks and yet I hardly get beyond looking at the pretty pictures and envisioning myself in an apron preparing gourmet meals.

A girl's got to have a dream.

Queen of the Run-on Sentence said...

Oh I have the intention of making out a menu but then I cant think of anything to cook and my menu remains blank. It is a vicious cycle. So we have a lot of "fend for yourself nights".

Michelle S. said...

I LOVE to cook, especially when I have the time but the girls are right - planning ahead makes a HUGE difference. I am also a slave to the Kraft Foods web I probably make a recipe off their website at LEAST once a week...they have everything you could ever want and so much easier than leafing through cookbooks.

Dinner during the week is not fancy but homemade and EVERYONE is required to sit down to dinner. I'm a big believer in family meal-time. Weekends are my time to shine...I can think of nothing better than inviting friends or family over and cooking a big meal...I love it!

Every fall we have "Apple Day" with all the cubs and's on a Saturday morning in late September. Everyone then comes back to our house and I feed them - usually about 40-50 people. Honestly, it just makes me feel so good...weird I know...maybe it's a Maritimer thing?? :)

Mieke said...

oh! I had to comment on this one because I have been the same way for, uh, I don't know, forever, maybe? My 10 yr old is surprised when we have a real dinner! That being said, I know someone else mentioned it, too, but the "dream dinners" or "my girlfriends kitchen" is the most awesome place. EVER. I am not joking. Don't you live in southern ca? I am in San Diego and we have several of them. For about the cost of buying all the "stuff" for a meal you can go make "real meals" in about 1 hr. They are good meals and then you take them home and freeze them and pull them out when ready to cook. My family has been amazed at our ability to suddenly have "real" dinners! Try it! :)

Terri said...

I completely understand. That's why I do this Super Suppers thing they have here in LA with my girlfriends. Check it out! You cook 2 weeks worth of dinners at once. Love it!

Moron Family said...

This was the best post on the internet ever. I had to link it to my blog. I have never done that before. (I am not a super blogger but my family will love reading this post)

Thanks for making my week!

Jamie said...

I can come up with a daily excuse for not cooking. I'm going to start working from home in the afternoons and there is a brand new Publix two miles from our house. I am so screwed.

J said...

Ha! I could have written your post. The biggest argument in our house is dinner. We too have tons tons of cook books but honestly I still am a terrible cook. I tried planning menus but that lasted less that 1 week. I am just not that organized!

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