Things the Public School Administrator Said That I Didn't Like

"...not accepting new kindergarten students"

"...overflow school is full..."

"...backup overflow school almost full..."

"...we assigned new students using a lottery"

"...must prove residency with two pieces of mail, signed affidavit..."

"...if you claim you live with your mother, she must sign an affidavit..."

"...penalty of perjury..."

"...matriculation starts next week...hurry"

In other words, the two best public schools in the New City are full, I can't prove I live there, and I need to hurry.

Sweet Moses, this is shaping up as the best goddamn year EVER.

I have no words to express my frustration.

Wasn't it cute on Monday how I was all like "I'm going to have to put Savannah in private school!" and you were all like "You can sign her up late for public school, silly!" and I was like "Oh, good!".

Yeah. No.

Apparently, the concept of "public" is very fluid. Because for all intents and purposes, the public schools are pretty much closed to the public at this point.

Before the second overflow school sent us on to the third overflow school, they kindly informed us that "parents were lined up around the block over a month ago. The schools are filling up fast. But, your daughter will be enrolled ...somewhere."

That's right. SOMEWHERE. Maybe Egypt.

Then they added "Matriculation starts next week. You'll need to have her registered before then".

I explained that we were "in the process of moving" and she replied that that was "unfortunate".

Lady, you're telling me.

And don't even get me started on the private schools. The two we drove by looked like vets' offices.

So, two things need to happen. And they need to happen ...oh, I don't know... like, YESTERDAY. We need to get an offer on this house, sign a lease on a house in the New City, and then I need to run like my face is on fire (not really - don't ever run if your face is on fire) to the last available public school, which I can only imagine will be on the back of a rickshaw, and get this child registered, matriculated, and edumacated.

Only then will I relax.

Because I have twelve new gray hairs. And a girl can only take so much.

Bangs (just for Kristen)


jen from boston said...

I had no idea you could get bounced from registering to a public school. Sweet Jesus, you are earning your greys.

Uh, 'good luck' if that means anything.

p.s. thanks for the PSA about running if your face is on fire. You may have just saved a life.

MelissaLBC said...

Lena, it is public school for a reason. They have to provide a space for Savannah - I would even go so far as to say it's the law! The district will hire a new teacher and create a new kindergarten classroom before they'll turn anyone away. Don't let them bully you!

MelissaLBC said...

I am feeling very smart right now because I found the law for you. It says schools must admit children to Kindergarten who are of legal age - I read this to mean they cannot turn you away - you just may not get the school of your choice, but they have to find a place for her.

Y said...

Egypt would be awesome.

I mean, think about it, I bet homes don't cost FOURHUNDREDTHOUSANDDOLLARS in Egypt.

But are you allowed to Pop-n-Lock in Egypt? Because if not, well then, we totally couldn't live there.

But seriously... let's move to Egypt.

Virenda said...

Ouch. Ummm???

I'm sure Egypt has great schools....

Michelle Smiles said...

I had no idea enrolling a child in public school was such a task! Perhaps I need to sign Sabrina up now...she's 9 months you think I am too late?

Butrfly4404 said...

See, this is where the "inconsiderate" and "rude" people pull ahead in life. Your mistake was trying to go about it in a reasonable, responsible way. If you just decided to move on a whim MID-year, they'd let you in no problem.

I'm telling ya, being responsible gets ya screwed all the time.

Lena said...

Butrfly - That has ALWAYS been my motto in life and for this damn reason.

Brillig said...

Oh, hon. Don't worry about it. Grey is the new blonde. Right? (I say, panicking and whimpering and laughing a little too nervously, while looking at my own new set of greys...)

Mrs. M said...

i wasnt aware that a public school could turn you down if you lived in the area that it serves. that's craziness!!

i have the same issues with private schools. if i send my child to a private school, i want it to be a damn nice private school. not a school in a trailor with no funding for microscopes in science class. so i check out that fancy pancy private schools, aka prep schools, and realize that one year of kingergarten is MORE than my four years of college education. FOR THE LOVE!

Kelly said...

Wow. That sucks. Pull out the b!tch card Lena. And I hope for all that is good and right that you sell your frikkin house and get to your dream new city asap. You've paid your dues. It's time for that offer to come in. Ok. It's past time. Way past.

Carrie said...

I should've commented when I read your last post because here in CA it is not uncommon for public schools to overflow you right out of town.

It's true that they will add teachers though. Keep checkign back!

Lisa said...

Good lord. That sucks.

But yes, I was always under the impression that the public school HAS to educate a child if they live in that particular area the school serves...

But good luck with everything!

Suburban Turmoil said...

Lena is a homeschooler, Lena is a homeschooler, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.

Just kidding. That sucks.

Anonymous said...

Definately don't move to Dublin, Ireland. There is a massive school crisis here. I seriously doubt that I will get my child into kindergarten (or baby infants here) this year because we moved into the area late last year. To get a place most kids have to have their name down since birth and sometimes even that doesn't guarantee a place. I too have many new grey hairs.

Ellen said...


I have to de-lurk to tell you that the best thing to do is pretend that it is all out of your control. Pretend your husband was fired and you had to move at the last minute. Pretend like you have no choices, because really you don't, and try to trust it will all work out.

I know it is so much easier said than done though.

Lena said...

Dude, I cannot homeschool. OH MY GOD.

Moron Family said...

I am of no help. I just have to say what you have probably heard a gazillion times:

If you wrote a book, I would be first in line to buy it."

Your style of writing is incredible. I am not laughing at your hardships - but your point of view, your sense of humor, your voice...

Will you marry me and talk in my ear all day?

:-) Good luck with the gorgeous house. If I had the money, I would buy it from you. said...

That completely sucks. Champagne and beauty salon scheduled for first day of kindergarten? I'd be there with you!

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