My Brain Is Spilling All Over the Keyboard

A riddle: If the Start of Kindergarten is on a train traveling south at 100mph to our New City and I'm on a rusty unicycle traveling north at 1mph to our New City, what are the chances that my unicycle and I are going to get there first?

Hmm? Any guesses? I have a guess! And it wakes me up violently in the middle of the night!

Savannah starts kindergarten in August. Well, August is a ways away, you say. Plenty of time to get an offer on your house and move to the new city. But, wait! I need to enroll her NOW. Did you know this? Apparently, there were parents lined up around the block in our New City a month ago to enroll their kids in public school.

While this shocked me when I found out, I tried not to panic. I called the local schools there and was assured a spot for Savannah as soon as I brought in proof of residency. Aha. How about proof of insanity?

Because by my chalk marks, we've been on the market 473,828,945,912 days and counting.

Everything is going awesomely. Thanks for asking.

Right now Chris and I are sitting at the coffee shop down the street from our house having been displaced by yet another Open House. (Or as I like to call it, our Open Ass). Our realt*r arrived this morning with her hopeful grin and her cleavage and her optimistic tray of strawberries and announced "I'm giving out free windmills today!".

Yes, that's what's been missing all along. How foolish of us. I will give you hundreds of thousands of dollars, but I WANT A WINDMILL.

I owe you commenty people a big thank you, though. Because today? Chris and I looked around our house and realized that we've been making a fatal error.

We've been pretending like we live here.

So, we took many of your suggestions to heart. We moved furniture around and cleared off every surface and removed all evidence that there are human beings who do anything here other than move silently and cleanly through the house paying the m*rtgage.

Because apparently buyers are kind of dumb and can't imagine for themselves that there's a wall behind that plant and I need to show them. And look! If I move the chair, there's more floor. And these pictures? They're not staying. They're of me and I'll be taking them with me. Then you can put up pictures of you. I know. Crazy!

Here are our After pictures:

Masta Bed
Master Bedroom sans treadmill aka Pizza Box Holder.
(Cat refuses to compromise.)

Get out of my offive.


Playroom almost entirely void of toys now. Savannah is displeased with this development. Apparently, she's too good for a corn cob doll and some marbles.

As for the suggestions that we repaint (I know, I know. I specifically asked), I've decided that would be a bad idea. Mainly because while even reading the mere suggestion that I do more painting, my hair starting shooting out in tufts. Plus, I've inhaled so many paint fumes over the last two months that I still occasionally see Care Bears.

With all the changes we've made, I feel like our chances to sell are better than they've ever been. And I am really trying to stay positive. The tequila's helping.

So, now tomorrow I'm going to the New City and enrolling Savannah in private school. Both THERE and HERE. I feel like our hands are tied. Otherwise, she may not be able to get into kindergarten at all if we don't end up selling.

So, now I ask for more advice from the internets. Is there really a disadvantage to enrolling her in public school at the last minute? Will she get the worst teacher? A poor schedule? What is the worst that could happen?

Or should I go ahead and harvest my own organs to pay for two private school tuitions in two different cities just to be assured that she has a spot somewhere at a good school? Is private school that much better? Like, $1,000 a month better?

The good news is that what was gearing up to be an emotional event for me is now overshadowed by the whole "please don't let my daughter start kindergarten in a van down by the river" thing.

And that would be the end of the good news.


Karen A. said...

My advice is to start her in public school. You will just enroll her late which isn't an issue.

Private school is not necessary for kindergarten in my opinion.

Karen A. said...

Oh and good luck on the Open House. Er, Ass. Hee!

Jennifer said...

I don't have any advice, but I doubt the placement decisions are made right now so I suspect you're fine!

And I hope your open house went well! The pictures looked terrific!

mere said...

Have you ever heard of the St Joseph thing ? I totally suggested it to clients tonight and I felt like a doof doing it, but I have seen it work. (google St Joseph and real estate)

Lena said...

Mere - I have researched it and thought about it. And, um, I'm skerred.

Izzy said...

corn cob doll...lololol

Silly me, I totally dropped the ball on kindergarten enrollment last year and went kind of late but it didn't seem to make much difference.

I had the same fear about getting the shittiest teach and a class full of preschool rejects.

We did get the youngest and newest kindergarten teacher, which also scared me a teeny bit, but she turned out to be the most awesome teacher and the kids are no more rejecty than in any of the other classes.

I think you'll be fine with a late enrollment. And if you don't like the teacher or the class, just complain a lot and they'll probably let you switch.

mamatulip said...

Get yourselves a St. Joseph statue. We put one on our mantle and the next day we got an offer.

We did the same thing when we were selling too -- cleared tons of shit out and made it look like nobody lived here. It was a total, total pain in the ass but it did pay off in the end.

Goooood luck...I hope the windmills worked. ;)

Laura said...

Private vs public...depends where you live. Where I live private school is a necessity, but also doesn't run $1000/month, more like $700/month for TWO kids. Still an expense that I would rather put towards a nicer house but it is an investment in the kids' future. As far as enrolling late in public school, you should not be penalized. Good luck!

Christena said...

My DH was in the Army for 12 years and we moved a LOT. There were a few times we moved in August right before school started, so my boys were enrolled WAY late, and it wasn't a problem. Like another commenter said, I don't think they make class assignments until right before school starts anyway.

Lena said...

(big sigh)

You guys are already making me feel better. :)

Anonymous said...

I went thru the same thing last year.... we enrolled my son in public kindergarden once we moved to our 'new' town. It worked out fine. (I believe in 'surrendering' to the situation and letting it work itself out--- if its meant to be, it will be.) I really debate between public and private, but each year is its own thing. S will do well with whatever you choose for her because she has a strong home foundation.
Good Luck!

brooke said...

I think the only issue with enrolling late is that you'll not be able to choose morning or afternoon kindergarten. We're kind of in the same boat over here, we want to move to a new city this summer, but don't know if we can!

Butrfly4404 said...

Were you joking about not knowing, because I REALLY DIDN'T. Nope, there is no magical StepMom handbook that says "Hey, the YEAR BEFORE she starts K, you have to meet all the teachers and get tests done and blah blah blah." They surprised me. And then scowled at me when I didn't know what they were talking about. Bitches.

Anyway, we did all Sunshine's Pre-registration stuff in the old county, then moved and did it all again in the new one.

As a child that went to 20+ schools, I can tell you it's pretty easy to register a kid at any time of the year. (My mom's favorite time was two weeks after the start of the new year).

About St.'s like six bucks...six dollars to shut all of us crazies up!! Do you want me to send you actual pictures of my mom's NEW house??? How about the old one (ew)??? :)

dcrmom said...

It doesn't matter when you enroll. We took our son out of private and put him in public half-way through the year last year. I was delighted with his teacher, and his academic accomplishments seemed to blossom when he got to public. I think it had more to do with his age and developmental readiness than the new school, but the switch to public in no way was detrimental. (His private school class had 14 kids and 2 teachers, and his public had 21 kids and one teacher.)

All that to say, RELAX! And just plan to do public.

Brillig said...

I too have a daughter going into kindergarten, and I too am selling my house--which is going no where. I've removed every little speck of my personality from my home, and finally I just moved out of it (four kids and no toys or messes just really wasn't working for us) and into my in-law's basement (think "hell" but with orange carpet and dial-up internet...) Just got word today that our house showed plenty on Saturday--and no one wants it. In the meantime, I have to figure out what on earth to do with Fluffy and kindergarten and the two mortgages we're about to carry...

Shauna said...

Open Ass. Great comment. And so true. Good luck (again)!

Virenda said...

Enrollment will be fine. Don't panic.

Things will work themselves out and I think keeping positive is the key. Your bedroom looks awesome by the way.

theworldsastage aka shawna said...

Oh Lena....I feel your anguish. My boys are 11 & almost 15 but I remember kindergarten like it was yesterday. Go public. Both boys started there moved to private, most are not worth the tuition, and are now back to public. Do not worry, registration is easy as can be and the schools will be glad to have you. Keep breathing, the house looks great and I'm glad the tequila is helping.

MommasWorld said...

You can enroll her after you move with very few problems. You will have to provide information such as a copy of her birthcertificate, up to date shot record, a complete physical which means you need the new school to send you THEIR form for your doctor to fill out. You will also need THEIR form for your dentist to fill out for her dental visit (physical and dental visit must be within the last 3 or 6 mos. depending on the school). Do NOT try to have the physical or dental visit after you arrive at your new place. Chances are there are many parents who put off these duties until the last minute or scheduled them in the local area last year and you will be at the bottom of the list. The schools have a system in place such that after _____ date any child who does not have these forms filled out by the Physician and dentist will not be allowed in school until they bring in the completed forms or provide an appointment date on official Physician and Dentist letter head.

If you do not have this in hand or provide proof of it in the works you could face Truancy fines. I know it sounds crazy that a 5 year old would be playing hookie but it is a way to generate school funds. Some areas charge $300 per day of missed attendance. I would suggest having these taken care of now with her current Physican and dentist so she is not booked behind the locals who are established clients or those who booked their appointments a year ago.

As far as the lived in look goes. I had visited model homes where a decorator actually attempted to make the house look lived in. The one thing that stuck out and I remembered was a styrafoam cup sittig in a child's room on the desk was half ripped and the pieces made a trail from the desk to the door. My first thought was not how lived in the house was or how nice it was the fact I would have been disapointed if my child had done such a thing at our open house. Of all the houses I have seen over the last 4 years I cannot tell you what the house looked like or if I liked it or not. Just that I remember the styrafoam cup bits.

I know many people who store most of there household belongings when listing there house so you are not alone in the respect of clearing out normal items.

Bobealia... said...

Here's what I know about schools having worked in them...
Last minute doesn't necessarily mean worst teacher although it can mean new teacher (brought in last minute due to unusually high enrollment -hey it happens and can't always be anticipated especially with Kindergarten). New teacher can mean nice young motivated with new ideas, a fresh outlook and new methods.
Public school depends on where you are moving. Unfortunately in the US, public schools in some places can be very scary places. However,there are many many many public schools that are fantastic.
Sending you good vibes regarding the house right now.

Melissa said...

Although I'm not selling a house, I do have my one-and-only child starting kindergarten in the fall. Every time I think about it, I get all emotional.

Whose idea was it for little five year old babies to be away from their mommies all day? Who? It's crazy! And I feel fortunate - she had a late birthday, so we've been able to delay this for an extra year!

(She, by the way, is totally stoked. Me, not so much.)

Jessica said...

I wouldn't worry about enrolling late to public school. We moved to a new state a week before my son was to start kindergarten and we didn't have any problem. We just enrolled him when we got up here like 5 days before the first day of school. He ended up with an awsome teacher that year too.

Tuesday Girl said...

my kids go to a private pre-K and it is very expensive but they have seemed to learn a lot.
Is it better then a regular old school? Probably not.

Mere said...

Don't be scared...just bury him! I had my house feng shui'd....but that cost like $500. St. Joe is cheaper.

Becky, Mom, Mommy, Hey you, said...

**big hugs** I hope you sell your house soon and when we leave here, which I will now be referring to as hell, then I will remember to be nice when looking at houses..

a hint I read somewhere..when you are trying to sell your house..either bake cookies (or buy one of those cookie smelling candles) it makes people think of home..

Good luck on the kindergarten. I don't get a choice she goes to the ONE english school or she learns a whole new language..(and the German's don't even start school for another year..1st grade)

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