Same Song, Second Verse, Same As the First

Stream of (Semi) Consciousness: The Humiliating

I am totally stressed about selling this house. What if nobody buys it? What if we're stuck here?

What if we're trapped and poor without equity and Chris loses his job and ends up selling fruit at intersections and I'm here for YEARS and start petting out-of-towners at gas stations while fervently whispering "Tell me what's it's like out there? Tell me please. Has it changed much? Are there still those things called malls? And places called Whole Foods where people don't balk at not spendin no four dollars on whole grains when I gots me some Wonder bread right here for ninety-nine cents! Please take me with you Lady Not Wearing A Scrunchie. I can be very quiet and useful. Take me to where they don't eat SPAM. You smell so goood."

Seriously. What IF?

Our house has been listed for one month today for a whole lot less than it was listed for six months ago and about $40,000 less than our exact house sold for around the corner a year ago. $40,000 less.

And today? After the br*ker tour? Our realt*r called to tell us that while all the realt*rs who toured our house found it "cute as a button" and "very clean" (again with the clean), some of them did think we should be listed for $25,000 less. Excuse me, did you say $25,000 less?


That would be my head repeatedly hitting the keyboard.


In brighter news! Savannah and I had this exchange this morning:

Savannah calls out, from the bathroom "Good news! I can wipe my own butt! You and daddy don't have to help me anymore!"

I respond, from the shower, "Great! You can get your own place now!"

She thinks about this.

"No!" she cries, "I don't know how to make tuna or do my hair!".

Ah, my mothering abilities have been conveniently summed up for me in order of importance. How refreshing.


Butrfly4404 said...

Haha! "I wipe my own ass! I WIPE MY OWN ASS!"

Well, I know you don't need me to tell you that living there isn't worse than owing money on something you no longer own.

Patience, my dear. I understand not wanting to live where you are...but this market will pick up someday. Just not the day you want it to, you know?

I closed on my house two weeks before the "bust"...If I had waited until the NEXT MONTH to buy it, I could have saved 20k. (and twelve months of borderline poverty).

Kelli in the Mirror said...

Okay! And she's five, right? That means I only have a year and a half of ass-wiping to go? Nice to have a goal in sight...

Virenda said...

Savannah is so cute. Tuna making and hair doing is important.

I really hope you sell your house. Just give it time. It's not even spring yet, so things could pick up.

chris said...

Is a month a long time where you live? I am trying to imagine where it is that people eat spam and have bad hair. I'd guess but then I'd probably offend people ;-)

Your house IS as cute as a button. Someone should want to scoop it up.

Tammy said...

I just found your blog and am loving it.

Your daughter sounds funny like you!

ali said...

i sure wish my son could wipe his own ass...

Frema said...

OK, I totally couldn't wait to do that Big Daddy joke until I saw that butrfly4404 beat me to it. Damn.

Good luck with the house selling!

The Queen of Shake-Shake said...

Would Savannah please share the good news with my youngest ds. He thinks my sole purpose on this planet is to wipe his butt.

Selling a home is not what I consider fun either. But, after being on the market for 6 months, ours sold at the exact right time. (long story I won't bore you with) Had it sold when I wanted it to, we would have been screwed. Hang in there!

Bobealia... said...

Maybe you should get Savannah to sell the house. Sounds like she's a can-do kind of woman.

Two Kids and a Husband said...

Oh Gosh Your house is beautiful and I don't know why people are not knocking down your door... If it weren't for the different country thing I would buy it... do you have it posted on an MLS? I would post it personally as well as through your realestate agent... make it a game see who can sell it first if he does he gets his 'commission' if not... you get to keep his commission... watch him get off his back side and sell your house...


Isabel said...

She can wipe her own butt, but can't make her own tuna?

(I can't make the tuna thing either and I have my own place. She could totally do it!)

limpy99 said...

I'll bet the house would seel in two days if it weren't for the empty cans of Spam strewn all over the house.

limpy99 said...

It'd probably "sell" too.

Susan said...

I know its cliche but everything really does happen for a reason. Just ride it out.

LOL at your daughter too!

Undercover Angel said...

Congratulations to your daughter for being able to wipe her own butt. I was so thankful when my kids reached that milestone.

I wish you the best with selling your house. Sometimes it just takes time for the right buyer to come along...

Lisa said...

Ohh the wiping of ones butt is a good thing. Mine wants to but lets just say... He's got that great at it. Plus? He doesn't wash his hands later. Ewww. Ewww. Ewww. SO I do the wiping. For now.

As for the house thing. Our house has been on the market since Sept. It is HARD to sell a house these days. And yes, we've lowered the price twice now... And still no real offers. (And agents say the same thing "clean and cute." blah!)

Stacey said...

Maybe Savanna can keep the house and you guys can move? She seems to have the basics down. That's all we require in our house!

Nicole said...

I think we live near you. Our house has been listed for two months and no one has looked at it. Maybe you need a new agent?

Good luck to boht of us!

Stephanie said...

OMG. That means my son has TWO MORE YEARS before he wipes his own butt. Arrrrr!

I saw pictures of your house and it is so pretty and i'm sure you'll sell it soon.

Good luck Lena!

chirky said...

Hee. Savannah's so cute. Also: is your house listed on Craigslist? Because: Seriously.

Suzie said...

Same problem selling our condo here in the same city. Scary situation, but hang in there, we are going to try to wait another 6 months to see if the market stabilizes. Hopefully I do not get laid off, then we would be totally screwed.

Melissa said...

This is giving me heartburn.

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