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1.11.2007

Don't Happy, Be Worry

I dared to actually be happy today. MISTAKE.

Savannah and I were on our way to the library, windows down, singing along to Justin Timberlake. We had ten minutes to get seats for the library's 11:00 storytime - which is incidentally also known as MY ONLY PLANS FOR THE DAY. I was cruising along thinking we would just barely make it. The old biddies won't let you in the plastic tree if you're even a minute late. (What happens in storytime stays in storytime.)

I actually had this ridiculous thought, "Today's a good day", just before the red and blue lights flashed in my rearview mirror.

I cursed and pulled off the street into the parking lot as the motorcycle cop pulled up behind me. He sauntered over in his aviator sunglasses and handlebar mustache and asked for my license.

"Do you have to give me a ticket?" I asked.

"That's my job" he replied coldly.

"I really cannot have another ticket" I tried.

"Mmm." He began writing out the slip.

"Does it matter that my brother's an officer?"

"Nope."

"Does it matter that my uncle's a fireman?"

"Nope."

"Does it matter that you look like you're starring in a 1970's porn?"

This ticket was a much bigger deal for me than it would be for most people. For a few reasons. Not the least of which is the letter I got just last week from the DMV that started with "Dear Lena, We know that everyone makes mistakes." I am not even kidding. Then they went on to remind me that I've received two tickets already this year and that "while you may consider yourself a safe driver we encourage you to consider safer skills". (Like steering with my hand instead of my knee?.) Then they threatened that if I was unable to control my wild ways and received one more ticket this year my license would be suspended.

Sus. Pended.

I found the DMV's letter so funny at the time that I considered posting about it, but now I have something even funnier! A suspended license! Awesome.

Good thing I'm not, like, getting on a plane or anything because boy, I'd sure feel unlucky. Oh, wait. I am. Tomorrow morning. And this is coming from a woman who normally freaks out when Chris stands up while we're flying because SIT DOWN, YOU'RE SHAKING THE PLANE.

Hold me.

23 comments:

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

You wild woman. You really like to live on the edge don't you?

I got pulled over once. I cried. In front of the officer. I was so scared. Can't really tell you why. But I got out of the ticket. That's how hard I cried.

Do you hate me?

MAMB said...

I tried the crying thing once...didn't work. Dad is judge in this town? That worked.
Sorry about your ticket. Can you take a defensive driving class to get your license back?

Frema said...

See, we really are soul sistahs, because I had my license suspended for three months the summer before my senior year in college. For some reason, the tears didn't come until after the officer drove away. I didn't even think about complimenting his mustache.

mamatulip said...

I tried crying once. It didn't work. I also tried "I was trying to get home so I didn't pee all over myself...I have to pee REALLY BAD!" That didn't work either.

I'm holding you.

Arwen said...

I was so proud of having never been pulled over... and then I got a ticket for going 55 in a 35 zone. Oops. Then, three months later, I totaled my car, and it was entirely my fault. 2005 was not a good year for me.

Now I have a baby who hates the carseat with the fire of a thousand suns, and I figure even if I did get pulled over for speeding, the officer would hear the screams and feel so sorry for me that he'd let me off. I'm counting on it, anyway.

Butrfly4404 said...

Our interstates are min = 40/max = 70. It was like, 1 a.m. and we were driving back to from casino. My car...uh...smelled kinda like a hippie's (I was 19!). My needle was buried, so I was going at least 95 mph...Saw the cop tagging people and hit my brakes (NEVER hit your brakes! That's like LOOK AT ME, I WAS SPEEDING!!). He pulled me over... I would have lost my license because 15 over here is considered careless driving. He let me go.

Not long ago, when The Man and I used to ride share with the kids to the city every day, we were all sleeping until the cop pulled him over. I woke up crabby and the cop said "Do you know how fast you were going?" "Uh, like 70?" "Well, I tagged you at 85." (20 over). Me: "WHAT?? WTH??" The cop let him go, too. I think he thought he'd get worse from me.

I did lose my license for 30 days, though, that same year, for not having insurance another time I got pulled over.

JenfromBoston said...

OOF...That SUCKS. Feel for ya, I really do. How long of a suspension?

Delton said...

Sorry. That really sucks. Too late now, but you should have pinched Savannah or something. Having a crying kid in the car might have helped scare him off.

Karly said...

Oh, that sucks. I had my license suspended quite often between the ages of 18 and 20, but it didn't stop me from driving. Which, come to think of it, is part of the reason it kept getting suspended. Then I drove on an expired license for 2 years and got pulled over and had a big ol' ticket for that. Who knew you had to renew your license? Not me.

Angela said...

This is hilarious!

Holding you. :)

slick said...

Dang, when it rains, it pours. A suspended license is really sucky.

Baba Ganoush said...

I've been very lucky. I have not had a ticket in years (knock on wood).

If it weren't for the one I got 3 years ago, I would not have had one for 12 years.

I would recommend going to court. Not sure if it will help your situation, but I've had good luck with having them take the points away and just fining me.

I feel your pain though. I hate that feeling when you have a cop behind you and you think they are going to pull you over.

Baba Ganoush said...

I've been very lucky. I have not had a ticket in years (knock on wood).

If it weren't for the one I got 3 years ago, I would not have had one for 12 years.

I would recommend going to court. Not sure if it will help your situation, but I've had good luck with having them take the points away and just fining me.

I feel your pain though. I hate that feeling when you have a cop behind you and you think they are going to pull you over.

Stephen Newton said...

This is my visit from Bo's blog. I got a speeding ticket mere inches from my office. The cop was waiting for me a the bottom of a mountain road, hiding. My sin was 42 in a 25 miles zone with new traffic, but the hidden cruiser in view. He chased me to my office door and wrote the ticket. I wanted to ask him why he didn't have something better to do like catch really bad guys. They have their priorities totally skewed. Lurking, ready to pounce. I hate it. When my car was broken into, when our furniture was hijacked by gypsy movers there was no one who would help, no cops, no nobody. I'm sorry it was YOUR day, especially with the nice letter from the DMV. No wonder my grandmother knocked on wood, it doesn't pay to say, "Wow, things are pretty cool today."

Chris said...

On a positive note, I passed my RE exam. Let's blow this cookie stand.

Lindsey said...

I once fought a ticket in court and the officer did not even show up. The judge dismissed it! Try that.

BTW love your blogs!

Marcia said...

oh no! But. Lindsey is right. If you contest the ticket, it will probably get thrown out.

Or you will have wasted 16 hours of your life that you will never get back, and still have a suspended license.

Bobealia... said...

Wait, two tickets this year?? It's only January 15th!!!! Ack!! What are you going to do?? I mean, how are you going to go shopping? Entertain your kid? Holy shit, this is a crisis. You might have to hire a nanny to take you places.

Bobealia... said...

I'm not kidding. I'm panicking for you.

blog Portland said...

It sounds to me like you used up any bad luck that was out there waiting for you. The plane ride should be cake compared to having to take the bus everywhere.

Bridgermama said...

Did you make it to the library? Suspended license seems sort of frivolous in comparison to storytime... :)

Anonymous said...

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I need help with my computer. I is always freezing when i open IE? What do you think?

By the way, I love that too!  How did you find that?  

See you soon! WonderGirl 




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