I dared to actually be happy today. MISTAKE.
Savannah and I were on our way to the library, windows down, singing along to Justin Timberlake. We had ten minutes to get seats for the library's 11:00 storytime - which is incidentally also known as MY ONLY PLANS FOR THE DAY. I was cruising along thinking we would just barely make it. The old biddies won't let you in the plastic tree if you're even a minute late. (What happens in storytime stays in storytime.)
I actually had this ridiculous thought, "Today's a good day", just before the red and blue lights flashed in my rearview mirror.
I cursed and pulled off the street into the parking lot as the motorcycle cop pulled up behind me. He sauntered over in his aviator sunglasses and handlebar mustache and asked for my license.
"Do you have to give me a ticket?" I asked.
"That's my job" he replied coldly.
"I really cannot have another ticket" I tried.
"Mmm." He began writing out the slip.
"Does it matter that my brother's an officer?"
"Does it matter that my uncle's a fireman?"
"Does it matter that you look like you're starring in a 1970's porn?"
This ticket was a much bigger deal for me than it would be for most people. For a few reasons. Not the least of which is the letter I got just last week from the DMV that started with "Dear Lena, We know that everyone makes mistakes." I am not even kidding. Then they went on to remind me that I've received two tickets already this year and that "while you may consider yourself a safe driver we encourage you to consider safer skills". (Like steering with my hand instead of my knee?.) Then they threatened that if I was unable to control my wild ways and received one more ticket this year my license would be suspended.
I found the DMV's letter so funny at the time that I considered posting about it, but now I have something even funnier! A suspended license! Awesome.
Good thing I'm not, like, getting on a plane or anything because boy, I'd sure feel unlucky. Oh, wait. I am. Tomorrow morning. And this is coming from a woman who normally freaks out when Chris stands up while we're flying because SIT DOWN, YOU'RE SHAKING THE PLANE.