When An Eight-Step Process To Applying Makeup Seems Totally Acceptable

Here's the thing. You don't realize you're aging. You keep thinking these subtle changes are temporary.

The way the skin gathers above your knees, the way the sleep marks stay on your face until after lunch, the way you chant under your breath "cardmecardmecardme" while the teenage grocery clerk rings up your alcohol. (Him: "Did you say something?" Me: "No. Why, did you want to ask me something?").

It's a slippery slope. One year you're looking at your face and wondering "Where on my face would I get wrinkles? Everything seems so tight." And the very next you're saying "So, the serum actually INFUSES collagen and then MINIMIZES the pores? For $150? Yes, I'll take two. No, THREE.".

And I'll fill you in on a horribly sad and depressing secret (if you can call it a secret, since I DID just find it through Google). Up to the age of 25 your cells regenerate at the same rate they die. After age 25, your cells regenerate SLOWER than they die. Let's lay it out like this.

< 25 =" LIVING

> 25 = DYING

Let's party!

Once I realized this fact, it all made sense. At age 26 exactly I suddenly started noticing crinkly lines around my eyes and wavy grooves in my forehead. And? Droopy pores. The joys. If me not panicking represents me aging gracefully than I am SO NOT AGING GRACEFULLY.

So, I did what any self-respecting woman with nine months and 22 days left of her 20's would do. I unfroze that credit card and I headed to Sephora.

Where I bought The Present by Philosophy. It's a primer. Which is supposed to fill in lines and provide a smooth surface for my foundation. The inference of course being that I need to CAULK my face before putting on makeup since it's as uneven as an acoustic ceiling. Oh, my natural beauty. It abounds.


Has anyone used a primer? Is one better than another? Will it clog my pores? (Can I now use a paint roller to apply my foundation?)

What product(s) are in your arsenal that you would rush into a burning building to retrieve? Any cleansers, toners, moisturizers that rock? (Lena's Mom: Olive oil! Me: Not listening!)

If you have any additional anti-aging complexion advice it's only fair that you share. I will pay you in pie.

**I also purchased Hope And A Prayer. I've never used a retinol product before, so I eagerly await the Face Dandruff.

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