Why I'm Weird and Five Other Things You Don't Care About

Shout out to Rockin Robyn for tagging me. With the recent departure from Thursday Thirteen I'd actually spent the last week not banging my head against my desk trying to come up with good content.

Thanks, Robyn. No. Really.

Five things you really don't need to know about me:

1. I pretend Dr. Phil is my dad.

2. I am obsessed with googling symptoms. If I or someone I love has the slightest symptom, you can bet that I'm diagnosing a random, often deadly, disease. This sucks. Mostly for them.

3. When I was 12 my best friend and I would crank call people from the phonebook. But, here's the thing. We would only call couples whose names were both listed. Then, we would ask for the husband by name. When the wife would say he wasn't there, we would act upset and claim to be his mistress. We did this many times. And many wives believed us. If I'm wrong and there is a hell, I am in big trouble.

4. My nose has been broken my entire life and I just found out last year.

5. When I was 14 I snuck out with my first boyfriend almost every night for a year. And we would park and talk. Never touching. And no, he wasn't gay. Just supremely patient. Who sneaks out to talk?!

6. I lied to my boss for two years and said I was an important witness in a high profile case when in fact I was taking the time off to testify at my own trial. For taking matters into my own hands with a cheating boyfriend.

p.s.- When I asked Chris "What's something weird about me?" he answered, "That you won't go camping when you're on your period because you're afraid the bears will smell you." I told him this was too much information for you lovely flowers. Was it?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Great. Before I read this... I tagged you with the very same thing.Oh well... two birds. One stone.Lucky you.

Posted by: Kelly | 04/16/2006 at 10:21 PM

LOL!!!! But, see, I DID indeed need to know those things about you!! Who would have guessed I could have liked you any better!!! Those are all great but LOL about the crank calls...that is so funny....

Posted by: Linsey | 04/16/2006 at 11:22 PM

thank you for doing this! Totally fabulous, and now I just want to know more!i'm glad your back. don't ever leave again.

Posted by: R. Robyn | 04/17/2006 at 01:55 AM

Wow. You crack me up, and you rock. I'm so impressed with the lying to your boss! Did he think you were badass for the whole high level criminal trial thing?

Posted by: Marcia | 04/17/2006 at 05:49 AM

I am with Linsey, I think I needed to know those things. Especially the camping part. I HATE camping in the winter when I am on my period. It's just too disturbing to see blood/urine in the snow. See, did you want to know that? Nope - but I had fun saying it.

Posted by: Jessica | 04/17/2006 at 06:07 AM

Oh - great post, lol!!!

Posted by: Sam | 04/17/2006 at 06:33 AM

Cause bears COULD smell you in the woods! I saw it on Pitch Black!And if you've never seen that movie, don't ask.

Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | 04/17/2006 at 06:41 AM

Wow. Laughed right out loud at this one!!So glad you stopped by and left a comment. I'll be back soon!Oh, and BTW, I TOTALLY feel you on the bear thing - precisely the reason I won't go swimming in the ocean during that "time" - sharks, you know!!Not at all wierd. =)

Posted by: Hill | 04/17/2006 at 07:13 AM

Wow. Laughed right out loud at this one!!So glad you stopped by and left a comment. I'll be back soon!Oh, and BTW, I TOTALLY feel you on the bear thing - precisely the reason I won't go swimming in the ocean during that "time" - sharks, you know!!Not at all wierd. =)

Posted by: Hill | 04/17/2006 at 07:16 AM

I would love the hear the details of number 6! I bet there's a good story there. ;)

Posted by: Ficklechick | 04/17/2006 at 07:45 AM

#2 I do the same thing I am a big time hypocodriac! #3That was baaaddd!:)

Posted by: mommyof4 | 04/17/2006 at 07:49 AM

i google symptoms mad.

Posted by: Ali | 04/17/2006 at 09:01 AM

I am the queen of Dr.Google. I have had more brain tumors this way than I care to admit. My friends and I also called people and did the same thing you did. I can't believe there is someone out there as evil as we were, lol.

Posted by: Melanie | 04/17/2006 at 09:33 AM

LOL Lena that no camping thing isn't weird it's COMMON sense. I mean THEY will smell you and that can't be a good thing.You do Google things lol and I think it's hilarious when I'm in the front and can see your mind whirling wanting to get away from me to go home and Google something. It's okay Lena, we love you and LOTS OF people do it too.The crank calling thing is SO sad. Poor wives,poor husbands. The things we think are funny when we are kids are so wrong. I did the same thing a couple times. Why me and my friends thought it would be a good idea, is beyond me.Okay the boss thing is great and you so HAVE to tell everyone the story to that one.

Posted by: Virenda | 04/17/2006 at 09:52 AM

Huh? How can your nose be broken and not know it? Please elaborate....I've never heard of that.LMAO at your lie to the boss! So what did you do to the ex?

Posted by: Denise | 04/17/2006 at 10:14 AM

What?! Your nose has been broke your entire life and you just found out?I need more...

Posted by: mama_tulip | 04/17/2006 at 11:20 AM

Yes, tell us more about the nose and the revenge to your ex!!!

Posted by: Jess Riley | 04/17/2006 at 12:53 PM

Well I could have lived with out the last one because now I will worry. Can the bears smell you? Hmmm. A whole year! I would say he was very patient.

Posted by: Reverberate58 | 04/17/2006 at 02:23 PM

LMAO... I'll save the nose comments for Hook.Ever since I had R. I have a really dry scalp. It's snowing over here. Can you diagnose and get back to me.Bear and period thing. HA!!! You'd actually sleep in a tent???

Posted by: Freakren | 04/17/2006 at 04:59 PM

Hi,First time commenter here. I love your blog.I'm not going to tell you about the time I was camping and I was sleeping under a lean-to and I woke up to a huge black something nudging my head with it's snout.

Posted by: Tree | 04/17/2006 at 05:48 PM

Look at Ne already heating things up! Love the crank call scam. This proves that you are almost as evil as me. In high school we would call the home of "not nice girls"(because you know I was SOOOO nice) and claim to be Planned Parenthood. Then we would give their parents their positive pregnancy test results. I still have guilt for this. However, It was justified harasment.Great post Ms. Lena!

Posted by: hook | 04/17/2006 at 10:10 PM

I'm a bit of a hypochrondriac, something which is not helped by a) Google and b) the fact that my husband is a medical professional. Way too much information from both sources.As for the crank calls, I do find myself wondering how many of the men really were having affairs, and your crank call led them to admit it--either on purpose or by accident--when the wife confronted them. Then again, I wonder how much perfectly good trust was dented as well. We all did nasty things when we were in middle school. At least you weren't tearing the wings off butterflies or stealing or anything like that.Wow. Sneaked out to talk?!?! I bet your parents would have believed THAT one! :-D

Posted by: Caryn | 04/18/2006 at 05:06 PM

Oh my god-the crank calling! That takes me back to my slumber parties where we crank called people to. But what you did is sooo funny! Too bad we didn't think of that, we would have had a blast!

Posted by: Cityslicker Mom | 04/18/2006 at 09:48 PM

My weird facts:1. I used love Pizza Hut Pan Pizza with Extra Cheese, Black Olives and Anchovies but now I just love that combination by any other pizza place than Pizza Hut!2. I can't ever eat at buffet style grosses me out to the max! 3. I like the most ecclectic types of music....from Mozart to Manson.4. I'm turning into a germ-a-phobe. I can't touch escalator railings, public door handles..etc. (you should have seen me last weekend at the New York International Auto SHow at the Javits Center....a weirdo! LOL)5. I sneeze these little tiny sneezes all in a row BUT there is always a big sneeze to finish me don't say "God Bless You" before I'm done or I can't sneeze anymore!Who can I tag?LizAngieJennEl Preggo

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