Is it just me or is the road trip your favorite part as you get older? When I was single, we'd all pile on the plane and that's where the party would start. Now, that I'm "domesticated" I actually get excited about car snacks. Because everyone know that calories consumed while going 75 mph aren't assimilated by your body. It's physics. Plus, all the uninterrupted magazine time. Ooooh, I'm getting all excited again just thinking about it.
As soon as we arrived, we went looking for
drinks sustenance. In Chris's defense, he just wanted to lounge around in the room. But, we all know what that means and I didn't want to mess up my makeup quite yet. So, we wandered downstairs to dinner.
If you've never been to Vegas, let me tell you that you are missing the best food on earth. Every meal we had was amazing. And amazingly expensive.
But, it feels free because you just say "charge it to my room", which is such an easy habit to get into and a difficult one to break. As my local grocery store this morning can attest to.
Our first dinner was awesome, but our waitress (wait person? food server?) was horrible. It was like she was purposely avoiding our table. At one point I asked the busboy to please get her, watched him tell her, watched her look at us and then walk away. Never to return.
So, later on our way back to our room in the elevator full of people, I asked Chris if he tipped her.
Me: "How much?"
Chris: "Twenty percent."
Me: "You gave her twenty percent?! Are you kidding?"
Chris: "It's not a big deal."
Me: "Chris, but that was the worst lap dance you've ever gotten!"
Of course, this being Vegas there were only a few snickers. But, Chris' face made it all worth it. He stared straight ahead for the next 16 floors in silence. While I giggled. Did I mention that in Vegas they actually give you a plastic cup for your drink as you leave? So, that you can continue to walk around with it? Or harrass your husband in the elevator? It's handy I tell you.
So, how was Dane Cook?
Dane was...Dane. You know, the usual. Pulling me up from the audience, swinging me around, and carrying me around on his shoulders for part of the show. I think it may have been a little awkward for the rest of the audience, but there's no stopping the Dane Train.
I finally asked him kindly to put me down...right there...next to my husband who I prefer. (He's just as funny plus he's a superhero and who doesn't love superheroes?)
Oh! You mean in reality.
He was very very funny. His very very skinny girlfriend sang the national anthem first. I thought that was a little disrespectful to me. You know, I was right there, but whatever.
My advice is to definitely kick off any vacation with a good comedy show. Nothing gets you in the mood for good times like laughing your asses off while shrieking in each other's faces "That's so true!". Chris and I were hysterical and it set the tone for the rest of our trip.
After the show, when we were good and liquored up, we decided to embarrass ourselves by paying $50!! to get into the hot nightclub, Rum Jungle. Then drinks were $10 each. Then Chris and I tried to dance to hard core techno that was literally vibrating my heart. It was dark, hot, and freaking loud. When did that stop spelling F-U-N?
Once I accidentally poured my drink down Chris' back trying to lean in to hear him better, we decided we were done. The way Chris figured it, that thrilling experience cost us $2.20 a minute. Awesome.
The next day we lounged by the pool and I read all my gossip mags, which are ancient news now thanks to The Green Straw. Chris and I amused ourselves by playing with our new cell phones and downloading various ring tones. (If you ever hear "Feel Good" by the Gorillaz while you're in the mall, I'm probably nearby. Me or one of 40,000 other people that have it.)
I can't tell you how nice it was to just lounge, read, and soak up the sun. And I was only occasionally bothered by my streaky spray tan and extra 10 pounds. That's a good day, my friends.
We had the dinner of our lives at Olives in Ballagio that night. All I have to say is "hand rolled Butternut Squash Raviolis". Hold me.
(Here Chris and I decided to mock the water show at Bellagio that all the Mid-Westerners ooh and ahh over. See the couple behind me really trying to take it seriously?)
We had a blast, but it is
required good to be home now. Less the tattoos I thought for sure I could bully Chris into. Next time we'll get those matching dice. I can feel it.
p.s.- On a side note, I'm done with TT. I'm just...done.