Letter B, Let Her Be

I cannot think of one good reason why you would want to know this, but I have been sick more in the last two months than in the last two years. No joke. The same old congestion, cough, sinus pressure. Ugh.

That's why I've been sort of "off" this week - yet another relapse. Those incoherent sentences? And rambling stories? Yeah, that's my best work right now.

So, this morning at dance class the forced mommy conversation for an hour was torturous. Here's a snippet:

Mom1: "Lily wants her hair long and curly and BROWN!" (said in a fit of giggles).

Mom2: "You're kidding!!!! Taylor would kill for hair like Lily's! (this is shrieked at Mom3).

Mom3: "Little girls just love African Americans! The dark eyes! The skin!"

Me (inside my head): Wha....?

Mom2: "My daughter just loves to dress up!"

All three moms laugh as if this is the most hilarious comment ever.

Mom1: "Lily wanted dark skin, dark hair, dark eyes. Poor thing. She's blonde and blue-eyed!" (again with the hysterics).

Me: "Your husband might have had some questions".

Everyone looks over at me. Silence.

Can someone please tell me how this was not funny? Is it the DayQuil?

So, my day really turned around when I saw that the chalkboard sign of 'Specials' outside the seafood restaurant next to Starbucks, where S and I always go after class, had been messed with.

In 'Sea Bass' someone had erased the 'B' making today's special "Sea Ass". Which I thoroughly enjoyed.

And if someone can come to my house and help me bang my cell phone against the wall maybe together we can extract the picture I snapped.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Sorry to hear you're not feeling tip-top. But holy moley those mothers sound annoying. And it sounds like their senses of humor are defective. I think you're freaking hilarious.

Posted by: Jess Riley | 04/24/2006 at 01:09 PM

Hate those stupid Mom club conversations. They are all full of courtesy laughs... or in your case... just plain old staring.Sea Ass.You just made my day.

Posted by: Kelly | 04/24/2006 at 02:44 PM

God I would have laughed some moms just don't get it!!!

Posted by: mommyof4 | 04/24/2006 at 03:25 PM

This post has been removed by the author.

Posted by: TANYETTA | 04/24/2006 at 04:41 PM

I know the sound of nails on a chalkboard would have sounded better than that conversation. I honestly thought I was the ONLY one who CRINGED around dumb ass conversations like that. I get...Ohhhh I LOOOOVE HER hair. I wish my 'sara' had hair like HERS! Yuppppp!!! that's what I get. My son rocks an afro and some ditszy mom thinks HE's a SHE. It's so old now that I just go with it and say thanks. Then the favorite is...DOES SHE SIT STILL for you to braid HER hair?Now, the better response would be OF COURSE HE SITS STILL....right after I gut check him**SIGH**p.s. Sea ASS...I looooove it. HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER REAL SOON.NOW I HAVE TO BLOG ABOUT THIS. YIKES.

Posted by: TANYETTA | 04/24/2006 at 04:43 PM

First off, I'm sick too for the second time in a month. I can't believe this shit. Secondly, that sounds like the most inane blood curdlingly boring conversation ever. You need to have a drink before being around people like that. Or just in general.

Posted by: Stefanie | 04/24/2006 at 05:31 PM

I'll take a large order of the Sea Ass, I here it's extra juicy today.Oh puhleaze did you expect anything different? You know those moms suck. What kind of freaking conversation is that anyway? UGH!I want that picture. Oh and hope ya feel better Lena.

Posted by: Virenda | 04/24/2006 at 09:38 PM

oh fess up. you're the one who erased that 'B' and you know it, you 'cheeky' thang!:D

Posted by: HolyMama! | 04/24/2006 at 11:34 PM

If it's the Dayquil, then I want some. I would have chuckle and probably snorted out loud had I been there. Where do these Stepford mom's come from anyway.Feel better soon, Lena!

Posted by: ~ stacy ~ | 04/24/2006 at 11:35 PM

I hope you feel better snickerdoodle!Oh and I just monopolize the convo to be all about R. and me so I haven't had the pleasure of crazy talk just yet. This is shocking characteristic for me, I know.BTW, You aren't dying! :o)

Posted by: Freakren | 04/25/2006 at 05:13 AM

Holy shitballs, Lena. I don't think I could do those mommy convos. A blessing upon you. And a pox upon the shreikers.

Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | 04/25/2006 at 06:19 AM

Your comment would have had me in stitches. LOLLoved the sea ass, too funny!!

Posted by: Sam | 04/25/2006 at 07:44 AM

I hate the fake coversations when Moms like that get together. Give me real conversation, shock me... me you aren't from Stepford...And Sea Ass...Give it to me! I will come bang the phone against the wall with you, then we can get started banging my phone against the wall too bcause my new phone...while it is a little, um, advanced for me I guess!

Posted by: Linsey | 04/25/2006 at 08:57 AM

Ha! I so would have laughed at your comment. And just like that. One big loud HA. I hate giggly mom cliques. Get them out of their box and they turn into Stepford Wives. Perhaps you should bang your cell phone on their heads... maybe that would help. Although, I'm not sure they'd laugh at Sea Ass. ;)(Get better!)

Posted by: Kimmy | 04/25/2006 at 09:36 AM

Did the sea *ass taste any different from the rest of the fish? And I thought your comment was very funny. Seems they just didn't get it!

Posted by: Reverberate58 | 04/25/2006 at 09:53 AM

Hey, I thought your husband comment was even funnier than Sea Ass - and that was funny!!

Posted by: Katherine | 04/25/2006 at 11:14 AM

kill me now. although, there are those in every bunch. i traded in the fakeness of other singles for the fakeness of other marrieds. just can't WAIT for the mommy fakeness.gag o rama

Posted by: Chatty Kathy | 04/25/2006 at 11:43 AM

I know how you feel, between myself and my children....there is no end to illness in sight....

Posted by: Ditsy Chick | 04/25/2006 at 02:05 PM

LOL! That is too funny. I just don't go in for the "mommy" conversations, either. Blech.So, how was the Sea Ass. I'd like a report.

Posted by: Heather | 04/25/2006 at 03:25 PM

That's HILARIOUS! If those mothers didn't find your comment funny, they are entirely too serious and boring to bother with. But, of course, you kind of have to bother with them at least a little bit, don't you? Yuck. At least you still have a sense of humor.

Posted by: Caryn | 04/25/2006 at 05:36 PM

Hee! I loved your response, but then, I'm rarely appropriate or suitable for polite society. Other moms have always kind of stared at me when I open my mouth as if they've suddenly realized I'm an alien.but I'd tip back drinks with you ANYTIME. Even if you were high on dayquil.

Posted by: Trouble in Shangri La | 04/26/2006 at 08:50 AM

Ugh - I hate those too!

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