I Wish They All Could Be (Northern) California Girls

Yay, I'm back in my posh surroundings! That being my blog, not my humble little four year old suburban house. Although I'm glad to be back to that too. I did miss me some laundry.

So, Northern Cali was lovely - all sunny and cultural and classy and stuff. I have to tell you something about So Cal that some of you may not agree with (Hi Kelly!) - the people of southern California are often, not always (Hi Kelly!) - tacky. I was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area and people are just more classy there. They too have million dollar homes and Range Rovers, but their hair is natural, they shop in their yoga pants, and their wedding rings are simple platinum bands. I'm just saying is all....

Anyway, my mom and S and I headed out Wednesday morning. I knew I was in for a wild weekend when my mom's overnight bag had a "Daily Scriptures", a bible, and her crocheted shawl peeking out of the top. The drive up and back was interesting. My mom read me Bible texts on the way up while my daughter interrupted her with "My Humps" lyrics. (My mom: "Did she just say lady lumps?") Nice.

But, we had a great time at my aunt's.

Emily is young and beautiful and successful and a strong self made woman. She stands for everything women have fought for. She has it all - she's successful, beautiful and has granite counters. Four years ago she arranged her booming career so she could stay at home with her sons. I hope to be like her when I grow up. Especially the successful career. Or any career. Or maybe its just her house I want. Or the fact that she never has laundry with a family of four.

Anyway, my mom and I had a good time fondling Emily's furniture and wasting her time. Also, making homemade playdough with the kids (my mom) and introducing Emily to some new horrendously depressing cancer blogs (me).

em and savannah Large e-mail view

Thursday night I had dinner with Renee. This consisted mostly of Renee standing in the aisle at Chili's and rocking Rocco in her arms. But, that was okay. I've drank through worse.

We talked about Blogher - Renee's going! - and discussed hotel arrangements. I have to say, I wish you were all going. Can you imagine how much fun we would have together? I am way less whiney than you think. And I drink way more wine that you think. Also, I'm likely to say or do something wildly inappropriate so you don't have to. And that's just f-u-n. So, go! Won't you already?

S. was thrilled that she got to play with "the big guy" and "the little guy" as she likes to call her 8 and 5 year old cousins. She thinks "chother" is its own word, so she kept saying "We like to play with our chother while you and Emily talk to your chother!". Get it? Instead of "each other"?

Let your ovaries commence to bursting.

And, for my part, I was pleased to show my aunt and uncle what happens to a 28 year old's body when she eats everything covered in cheese for three months. They were not impressed.

After I felt we had adequately chastised my aunt for weighing less than me (thanks for the walk around Burlingame looking for 'the bagel place' - we can all tell you don't eat no damn bagels!) we headed back home Friday.

On the way back my mom and I played 20 Questions, in which my mother totally cheated and chose both "the man who checked my disabled aunt into a nursing home" and "the girl who searched our purses at the Dr. Phil show" as her people I was supposed to guess. You see where I get my clever moves.

I look forward to my next visit. Maybe I can run into an ex-boyfriend or my old parole officer and actually have an interesting story for you next time.

I did miss all of you internets while I was off 'road tripping'. Especially your Thursday Thirteen comments saying "My TT's are up!" or as Chris likes to read it, "My titties are up!" (Please excuse his lecherous immaturity).

Next time I'll bring you back a t-shirt.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Lena..I found you from Diary of Nello and I am in No Cal right now (can I just say that Gamberdellas in Burlingame is my favorite resturaunt EVER). I am a transplant, but I love it here. Although, the rain was making me a little nuts.....Your blog make me laugh because you say the things the rest of us think...and I imagine you write just like you talk. :-) Thanks again..

Posted by: Bek | 04/01/2006 at 08:44 PM

The rocking is "Rocco-trying-to-say-he-doesn't-want-a-fat-mom-diet-plan", but it's not really working.That or I really want that hostess job with all the bowing I did.I'm so glad we got to see each other and thanks again for dinner.

Posted by: Freakren | 04/01/2006 at 09:46 PM

S. is getting so big! Sweetie.

Posted by: Freakren | 04/01/2006 at 09:46 PM

Have I told you lately that I love you and soooo live for your blog and one more thing....I DO NOT weigh less than you and my laundry isn't hiding under my bed or anything. I swear.

Posted by: Smom | 04/01/2006 at 09:53 PM

Sounds like a good trip. You're right about Nor Cal being more classy. Very rarely does anyone up there ask you if you have noticed their new boob job.

Posted by: Sue | 04/01/2006 at 10:53 PM

Okay, if you're serious about bringing me something back from Northern Cali, skip the t-shirt and just grab me some cheese rolls from the Cheese Board in Berkeley. If you're into cheese-covered things, you've got to give them a shot. Glad you had fun!

Posted by: landismom | 04/02/2006 at 06:12 AM

Sounds like you had a very good time. Family is the best for enjoyment. As for bring back a better story the one you have is good. I enjoyed! I have only been to the state of California once when I was 11. Don't remember enough to say how it was.

Posted by: Reverberate58 | 04/02/2006 at 07:39 AM

"my humps" cracks me up! Also - your husband and I say the same thing about Thursday Thirteen comments! I completely think that everytime I see those comments. Which, frankly, is what keeps me from playing. Silly sexual innuendo.I'm glad you're back!

Posted by: Marcia | 04/02/2006 at 09:35 AM

I agree, No Cal is classy. And not fake classy, just straight up classy. We used to live in the bay area too, where were you at???Glad you had a nice trip.

Posted by: Linsey | 04/02/2006 at 10:31 AM

I was born in Livermore, then lived in Danville, San Ramon, and then we moved from Pleasanton to San Diego 2 years ago. Home. Sick.I'm trying trying to get my husband to take us back. If only I could fit Vi in my purse. :{

Posted by: Lena | 04/02/2006 at 10:35 AM

Please come back, please come back!

Posted by: Freakren | 04/02/2006 at 11:41 AM

Glad you made it back okay and that you had a good time. "Chother" cracked me up, and I loved the pictures.

Posted by: Caryn | 04/02/2006 at 01:17 PM

All I have to say is, "Hey!!?!"

Posted by: Wils's Little Sister | 04/02/2006 at 02:21 PM

Mmmmmissed you! ;-)

Posted by: Teri M. | 04/02/2006 at 02:25 PM

Bible Scripture and Lady Lumps! LOLCute CUTE CAYOOT pictures!I know you've heard it a million times but...your mom is HOT. I say this because my 18 year old daughter gets that alot and she cringes. She says moms aren't hot. LOL.

Posted by: TANYETTA | 04/02/2006 at 11:56 PM

I am actually considering going to BlogHer, just as an excuse to come back to Cali. I wonder if I could get some kind of prize for coming all the way from Italy?

Posted by: R. Robyn | 04/03/2006 at 03:37 AM

Hi! Glad you're home. :) Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Posted by: Lisa | 04/03/2006 at 04:02 AM

I am sooo glad you are back! Finally some good reading..I am sure there are more out there just havent had any more time to explore so for now you are it! And I am sooo glad you are back! :D

Posted by: Jocalyn | 04/03/2006 at 07:46 AM

Ahhh...Lena. You're funny. Once, on a road trip to Chico, CA to visit my sister (don't worry, she doesn't live there anymore...HEAVANS...)I made my mom keep the windows rolled up so we could save the clean "Marin Air" before having to bear the dull throb of the Nor-Cali valley.Good thing I'm moving back to Nor Cal this summer! w00t-w00t!

Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | 04/03/2006 at 09:16 AM

I love San Francisco. I good friend of mine used to live there (she's in LA now) and I used to go to Pleasanton and San Jose on business alot when I worked as an auditor. It's wonderful. I especially loved watching the fog roll in over the mountains every morning and the first time I drove over the Golden Gate bridge I was like "wow, I'm driving over the GG bridge, this is so cool!" Of course, that was before the babies came along, and now I can't go anywhere more than a 6 hour drive away. Plane ride with them? Forget it, even the 40 minute trip to the mall is on pins and needles. I wish I could go to BlogHer, maybe in a few more years when the kids are older

Posted by: Chic Mommy | 04/03/2006 at 10:55 AM

sorry the fog rolls in in the evening doesn't it? I misspelled, sorry!

Posted by: Chic Mommy | 04/03/2006 at 10:56 AM

...But Southern Cal has the beach. A warm beach.BUT. The blinged out millionaires down there are a bit piss me off.

Posted by: Kelly | 04/03/2006 at 11:02 AM

Livermore....that is known as Teletubby Land in our house.You know when you go from the 680 over the pass (is it the Altamont pass..the name escapes me now) and there are the hundreds of windmills? My kids LOVE that. Then you drop into the most beautiful, green valley. I love that area. :)My husband dreams of LA......

Posted by: Bek | 04/03/2006 at 02:59 PM

Love the bible/humps bit. Wish I could go to Blogher, but that's not going to happen.

Posted by: Jessica | 04/03/2006 at 04:50 PM

When I was a kid TT referred to urination. (Everybody go TT before we get on the road!) So that's unfortunately what I think of every Thursday.

Posted by: Amanda | 04/04/2006 at 12:47 PM

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