Last night S. had a 104.6 fever. I don't know about you, but any fever above 102 makes my heart pound and I start sprinting around the room in circles repeating "It's okay! It's okay! Everyone stay calm. It's...all...fine. Everything is okay. Just...everyone stay calm, won't you?!!!"
Which was exactly my reaction upon reading the thermometer. I am so very grateful that we had taken her to the doctor's earlier even though she seemed to be feeling better. That way I at least had the fact that a doctor laid eyes on her that day and yet allowed us to leave, running in the back of my head.
I started barking random contradictory orders to Chris and immediately called my mother-in-law. She was a nurse for decades and I find her incredibly soothing in these circumstances. She told me to start a cool bath and mop S under her armpits with cool rags.
With the phone on one shoulder I began frantically stripping and mopping S down in the bathroom while she cried and shivered. All the while talking a mile a minute straining to be as soothing as possible.
My daughter, being bright, picks up on the fact that I'm foaming at the mouth and seems concerned.
I then made the mistake of cheerfully asking "You want mommy to get in the bath with you?" Which she of course agrees to.
And then once I am actually freezing my ass off in the ice water, decides she's not joining me.
I coax her to the edge of the tub where I convince her to at least dangle her feet in while I read her a book.
So, imagine if you will. I am naked and sitting in a frigid bath reading a book to my feverish child who is gingerly resting on the edge of the tub wrapped in a fashionable towel.
As if that wasn't awkward enough (and completely pointless) add my husband to the mix, whom I have actively prevented from seeing me nude recently due to the recent weight gain and who now gazes upon me fat, pale, naked, and for the love of god, sitting, in the tub.
I am happy to report that the fever was eventually brought down and with my child intact. I wish I could say the same for my pride.