13 Reasons Other Moms Intimidate Me
1. You understand that $400 worth of scrapbooking supplies are meant to be used.
2. When your child grew their first teeth, you knew date, location, and order. Instead of looking at your daughter one day and saying “Hmm, I think you can eat an apple now”.
3. You didn’t spend the entire first year of your child’s life crying and apologizing in your pajamas.
4. You don’t show up a half hour late to playgroups panting, sweating and swearing.
5. You never bring Krispy Kreme donut holes to your daughter’s class only to have the teacher kindly request you “consider a fruit” next time.
6. You can’t make a sandwich with the ingredients under your carseat.
7. You don’t repeatedly piss off your daughter by referring to the cats as her “brothers”.
8. You manage to put on both a belt and shoes for the preschool Open House.
9. You don’t yell at your daughter to stop curling her toes while you try to force a size 10 shoe on her… only to later find out she is now in fact a size 12. Wide.
10. Your daughter’s bows match both her outfit and each other.
11. You don’t start laughing while reprimanding your child.
12. When you start counting as a warning to your child, they don’t start counting with you.
13. You manage to get haircuts that don’t cause you to lock yourself in the bathroom until your husband coaxes you out with cookies.