Wow. MIM had to close comments on her weight post because people were actually starting to call her names. Personally I didn’t agree with everything MIM had to say, but to personally attack her for her opinion seems extreme.
The real question here, and Virenda brought this up in her comment on my last post, is:
Why are we so quick to judge each other? And so hatefully just because we can hide behind our computers?
So, MIM and obviously many others feel that you have a duty to stay attractive and sexy for your spouse. Well, good for them! They are entitled to their opinion. The end.
I think if I have to stay looking amazing every minute of my marriage to “keep my man” he isn’t worth keeping. But, that’s just me.
I think the notion that we as women are under some sort of obligation to keep our appearance at a certain level is insulting to men. Are our relationships that easily summed up that some weight or a short haircut devalues you as a loving wife? Are men that simple minded that when they’re not constantly turned on by you, they’ll start sniffing out the neighborhood for fresher meat?
I don’t know about you, but my husband is as into what I do as what I look like. ….And I do alot. (That was a joke for my ‘regulars’).
I think where MIM really stepped in it is when she referred to dating as “advertising”. As if we are pretty packages that need to keep up our wrapping paper.
Let me ask you, are all of your girlfriends attractive and thin? When you first met in, say college, were they size 4’s with long hair? Now, in their 30’s are they carrying an extra twenty or thirty pounds? Have they dared to get a “sensible haircut”? Do you love them any less? Do you feel duped that they aren’t the exact friend you made 10 or 15 years ago?
Do you feel it was false advertising? Or are they still the same person with the easy laugh and big heart that you met and loved all those years ago?
Why the double standard? Are women’s relationships with each other that much deeper and more meaningful?
Is it the inclusion of sex in the relationship/friendship that immediately holds rank over all the other aspects in the relationship?
Again, what an insult to the men who chose us. I think if we’re honest with ourselves, we all know that we could look better. And frankly, if your appearance rules your life, then you must be one very scared individual. Because appearance can go like that.
The real issue worth debating here is health.
You drop the word “health” in everywhere where MIM had “attractive” and “sexy” and I’m in total agreement. Heart disease is the #1 killer of women. I do have an obligation to my husband to be healthy every waking moment of my life. Because he signed on to grow old with me and I owe it to him to hang around. I do have an obligation to my child to be healthy because I want to see her grow up and have the energy to run around with my grandchildren.
Now, our health is something worth getting worked up about. Think of all the calories we’ll burn.