Monthly Letter

Dear Blue,

You are four years five months old today and this is the first of many monthly letters to you. I've been wanting to take this letter writing thing on because:

1) you say alot of very clever things that I am not clever enough to remember to write down

2) you are constantly challenging me and your dad every single day and I must capture your negotiating skills on paper

3) I want you to have proof that you turned my world upside you'll understand why I am so clingy

4) I need you to know I love you more than "to Yew Nork to California" as you've been saying recently.

Yesterday you went to dance class. I made the wise decision to put you in the late class this year because you and I are not morning people. If we're forced to get up too early we end up making each other cry before we even get out the front door.

You love to put on your leotard and back up to me in the bathroom, holding rubberbands in your little hand, full of demands of how you want your hair.

You love to walk the cobblestone wall after every class while enjoying the sucker the teacher gave you. Your whole face is lit up after you dance. Your pink cheeks flushed, you are downright jolly and ready for the day.

Grandma Cathy showed up after your class to surprise you. It was a last minute visit, so I didn't tell you. We couldn't wait to see your reaction. You started to run for the cobblestone as always and as you reached the wall, you saw her standing there and did a double take. You immediately turned around and looked at me, as if to say 'Is this happening?". Grandma reached out to hug you but you continued to jump up on the wall as planned! Grandma was hurt, but you needed to finish what you started. That wall wasn't going to walk itself!

After the wall walking was complete, you threw your arms around her. I found it funny that I had predicted you would react to her sudden appearance the way you did - delayed joy because you weren't prepared.

Dad took you to see Curious George and then bought you the stuffed animal after. You have been so taken with George that you had to immediately undress him (a sure sign that he's loved) and take him with you for your nap.

You are obsessed with games. EVERYTHING is a game these days. You constantly ask "Do you think I can run this fast/pick this up/throw this far/read this word?" We're not allowed to show faith in you. You get upset if we say we think you can. You want to prove us wrong.

The other day you begged me to play a video game with you. I put it off until it was almost bedtime. When dad went to unhook the Tivo to set up the game, I realized that it was going to stop recording my favorite show. I stared at you. You stared at me. I told dad to go ahead and pull the plug on Tivo.

"You can see it later" you said hopefully.

"No, it's only on tonight" I responded.

You started to cry. "I'm sorry mommy" you said.

I was shocked at your empathy. You actually felt guilty. I, of course, told you it was no big deal and I would rather play with you.

But, as I lay in bed that night I thought of how your reaction is yet another indication that you're growing up. Into such a loving little girl.

I love you,


1 comment:

Anonymous said...


I almost feel like you shouldn't have comments on this post (but of course, I'm the first to comment, anyway). That is so beautiful, and I know that your daughter will treasure it... and your readers are going to love it!!you so make me want to have children. right. now.

Posted by: Marcia | 03/14/2006 at 09:06 PM

I'm a little moist.

Posted by: Chris | 03/14/2006 at 09:41 PM

Marcia - there is no bigger compliment. Thank you.

Posted by: Lena | 03/14/2006 at 09:51 PM

Oh Lena, you make me cry and feel like a bad mom and that is the surest way to know you wrote a beautiful "letter". S is going to LOVE this and cherish it when she gets older. It was so lovely and heart warming and I really felt Lena like I could hear you. This is definitely going on my absolute favorite list. I agree with Marcia although that isn't stopping me from commenting either.I can't go on enough about how much this post made me "feel" and how this post really truly shows how gifted of a writer you are. Way to go Lena, you did it. The perfect post.

Posted by: Virenda | 03/14/2006 at 11:20 PM

Lena, you should write a book. :) I love your letter to her! I do something similar in a journal - I plan on giving each child a scrapbook and a box/tote/whatever of things I saved from their school years or special drawings. Although I'm not sure if I could give those things up until I died. Anyway, it was beautiful. :)

Posted by: Lisa | 03/15/2006 at 03:37 AM

If you keep this up my preggo hormones may burst. You are so blessed and I love that you know you're blessed.Cheers sweet girl,Kdubs

Posted by: Kdubs | 03/15/2006 at 04:12 AM

this is so wonderful, and knowing exactly how you feel, it almost made me cry.i have until now been writing in a journal for my girls, but one of the reasons for staring my own blog was for them to read and see a little of me from a different perspective. i keep meaning to write a post in this vein, but haven't got around to it yet. this was inspirational. thank you.she will love and cherish this. a beautiful gift.

Posted by: keda | 03/15/2006 at 06:01 AM

Simply...beautiful.I will be copying you, of course, but I'll wait a few days.

Posted by: Freakren | 03/15/2006 at 06:06 AM

Ok, that is too cute about her feeling bad about your show!!! What a special little baby you have. :o)

Posted by: TheIdleReceptionist | 03/15/2006 at 06:57 AM

Where's the kleenex?!?!?

Posted by: Mama B | 03/15/2006 at 07:38 AM

Can I just say...Your little girl is beautiful!

Posted by: Kelly | 03/15/2006 at 09:23 AM

I love this. And when your daughter is older and reads this, she'll love it too.

Posted by: mama_tulip | 03/15/2006 at 09:46 AM

Loved your sweet made me cry. Your daughter is blessed to have a mommy like you!

Posted by: Angela | 03/15/2006 at 11:22 AM

Awww. So very sweet.

Posted by: Caryn | 03/15/2006 at 02:14 PM

i'll admit, most things make me worship birth control, but your letter is making me feel the *twinge*.darn you.

Posted by: Chatty Kathy | 03/15/2006 at 02:27 PM

You actually did make me cry. This is a lovely letter. I hope you will keep it up. It says SO much with so few words. i am sure she will cherish it one day. My creative mind is racing... when will you show it to her? How will you save it? Print it? Maybe when she is old enough she will start writing letters back to you? Maybe you should start now? Then, when she is older, you guys can publish your book together...This little girl I was a nanny for watched videos of herself (she was only 2 and 1/2 at the time) but this was one of her favourite passtimes on a rainy day. Herself scared of Santa the Christmas before. Herself in Europe with her mommy. Herself as a little little baby (she laughed at that one). It was interesting to watch her understanding her past through these DVDs her parents had recorded. I wonder what the dialogue would be like if you read the letters to her....? Would she understand herself differently? Would you want her to? Anyway, you don't have to answer any of those questions, that is just where my mind went.

Posted by: Jessica | 03/15/2006 at 06:21 PM

How absolutely beautiful. Your writing is so visual. It made me miss you guys more than I normally do. Is that the same wall that G. Pat and Miss and I took the pics after her recital? That's where I pictured it, anyway. Thank you for that little peek into your world.Love you!

Posted by: wils's little sister | 03/15/2006 at 06:31 PM

Wow, what a wonderful idea. I think I'm going to start doing this for my kidlets.

Posted by: Heather | 03/15/2006 at 09:00 PM

That was the sweetest letter. I laughed about the 'not being morning' people and making each other cry. I love it!!!!

Posted by: TANYETTA | 03/15/2006 at 09:19 PM

I am thinking I will have them printed into a book for her to give her on her wedding day or, you know, the day she becomes CEO. Something like that. ;) Andrea - That's the wall! I'm glad you had the visual. We miss you too!!

Posted by: Lena | 03/15/2006 at 09:32 PM

A wonderful post, of course. *smile* Your daughter is truly blessed to have you for a mom.

Posted by: ~ Stacy ~ | 03/18/2006 at 09:16 PM

The little guys can be sooo cute. I miss that I don't have a girl at times like this.

Posted by: Ditsy Chick | 03/19/2006 at

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