Me: "I don't want to be your Friday night girl!"
Him: "Better than my Monday night girl. She's pretty ugly."
Him: "Can you please stop eating corndogs?"
Me (with a mouthful): "Why?"
Him: "You're never going to be able to run a marathon eating junk."
Me: "Who said anything about a marathon?"
Me (to boyfriend of FOUR months): "Cool tat. What is it?"
Him: "The Nazi SS symbol."
Me: "Your girlfriend just called me."
Him: "You're not going to mess up my truck, are you?"
Me: "Don't flatter yourself."
Him: "So, were you really sick yesterday when you cancelled our date?"
Him: "Are you sure you didn't go out with someone else?"
Me: "Yes! Why?"
Him: "I was watching the football game on t.v. yesterday and guess who I saw in the crowd? With another guy?"
Me: "Oh. That."
Me: "I get the feeling that you're married."
Me: "Well, you have a tan line on your finger for one. And you always look like you're about to cry."
Him (starts to cry): "I just need a reason to leave. Can you be my reason?"
Me: "Holy hell."
Him: "Oh shit. There's a cop behind me with his lights on."
Me: "Well, pull over!"
Him: "I can't. I didn't hide my drugs or my gun."
Him: "Check out my new tattoo."
Me: "It's...my name...across your back."
Him: "Yeah. Well?"
Me: "I thought I broke up with you last week."
Him: "Those other guys are idiots. I'll buy you a garden where your flowers can bloom."
And I married him.